For the last few days I’ve been looking inside my heart
only to realize over the years it’s fallen apart
I write this not because I hate or want to kill myself
I’m just tired of keeping my feelings on the shelf
Sometimes in order to see who you really are
you need to step back and look from afar
When I do I see myself has a whole
I can see why I have such a lonely soul
Yesterday I felt life is so grand
I got the world in the palm of my hand
Today I feel like life is so shitty
I lay under a blanket full of self pity
This is just part of life’s riddle
The truth is I’m somewhere in the middle
This is why at times I almost lose control
Until I look inside my lonely soul
The one thing it seems is always a guarantee
If I have feelings for someone, they won’t for me
Everyone I’ve ever had feelings for have never felt the same
Am I stupid, ugly, an idiot, a prick, or just lame?
Am I fat, annoying, lazy, or all of the above?
Or am I just not worthy of love?
Even with the hurt when feelings aren’t returned
I accept it and cherish the experience I’ve earned
Even with that said, there’s the hurt I always hide
the hurt that makes me fell so dead inside
the fear that things will never change
the fear that keeps me and the world estranged
All this hurt and fear have taken it’s tole
on my lost, broken, lonely soul